Totally relatable and specifically to Portugal. "Documenting a romanticized vacation bubble." Even if a bubble the truth is most of the rest of the world lives in community and life is on the streets, whether they want the connection or not. Such way of life is a novelty to us like a first bite of chocolate to a toddler. Our individual pursuits in the U.S. are lonely and disconnected, but thinking life is better overseas, without actually living it, is thinking an 8 hour single day roadtrip is easy.
Yes, I agree that we are too focused on individual pursuits, and this is in opposition to what makes us truly happy. A lot of other cultures do not focus on the individual like we do.
I spent two weeks in Portugal in 1982 and it was heaven. We were in the Algarve and it was sunny, inexpensive and carefree, which felt so divine. There was a lot of building going on then so I can only imagine what is like now - so I will not try and recreate by going back. Everyone loves Portugal it seems! (Is this where you got sick from salmon quiche tho?)
I live in Lake Tahoe and am from the SF Bay Area and find the long dark winters harder as I get older up there. Winters are such a thing but I do think you have to embrace the hygge philosophy and deal with it but it can be hard.
Wow, I bet it was even more preserved and rustic then. Funny, because it still feels that way in Porto comparatively, but many would say it’s very gentrified (which it is also). Thank you for the thoughtful note, book recco and support! Much appreciated. The quiche was from Paris! Ha- this was our “tack on” destination.
I live in Las Vegas. It's been kind to me over the years but it's hot AF in the summer and Laguna Beach is my Portugal. It's an easy four hour drive and seriously, just entering the freeway on-ramp (the only time I ever use that particular exit) feels like I arrived at the no-burdens-allowed club.
On Substack I'm living vicariously through several ex-pats living in France. Some have been there for years, others only recently arrived. Have you and your husband considered moving to Portugal for a year? Yes, this could be a logistical challenge but I'm certain your move would liven up my Substack feed which should also (heavily) factor into your decision. Perhaps Iberian living will inspire your Toronto wine room.
Thanks for this post. Best thing I've read this week. Enjoy your time in Portugal. I wish you much blissful inspiration.
Michael! Such kind words. I’m a fan of Vegas and glad you have your respite driving distance away. I do love all of the expat content too, such a portal. We’ve talked about a temporary move but have crammed in too much stuff that needs our localized attention for the minute. 2027 abroad?
"I wonder if we, specifically those of us who inhabit places with six months of winter, live too inwardly." So actually, not to be *that* person, but there is actually research backing this! People in colder countries tend to be colder, more reserved, and less friendly to people they don't know. I can't remember why it was, but it is a thing :)
I totally believe it! I think there are pluses as well. I've always theorized this is why there is a lot of great Canadian artists. We're forced to be with ourselves and not out boating year-round with wind in our hair!
I don’t get out much but this resonated 100%. Something about leaving our “real lives” behind lets the mortgage and underwater cars not feel like necessities anymore. I supposed it really hit because I ask the same questions - is it possible to feel like this at home?
Oh my gosh, this was awesome and the synchronicities! I am a Maritimer living in Barbados, and my 20 year corporate career ended less than 2 weeks ago. I am part of a yoga community that bridges Barbados, UK and annual European retreats and this August we are going to Portugal and just this morning my yoga teacher sent me her flight details into Porto. (You can find her on Substack - the Long Hold, or on IG Tory Miell Yoga). I am calling this a year of transition with the purpose of cultivating a gift. What does this mean to me? Exploring, trying different activities, taking some energy courses like Reiki and Sacred Geometry- just going day by day and taking it all in. I laughed when you compared Muskoka to Portugal because this year I’m actually doing both! I’ll keep you posted!
I love this. I lived as an expat for 6 years and felt a similar lightness. There's something about being removed from your ordinary that results in the freedom you're writing about. It's hard to hold onto - but writing about it helps!
I was curious about the other side of making a move to a new place as an expat! Did you retain this lightness for the time you were away or does real life follow you?
Great question; I think it probably depends on the location. Obviously real life always follows you to a certain extent; life admin happens wherever you are, and I was the main carer for our two kids so that can definitely bring you down to earth with a bump wherever you are. But if your location and host culture are far enough removed from the day to day you left behind, then it’s certainly possible to retain the ‘living a life less ordinary’ vibe throughout your stay. And to be honest, it’s also possible to retain that on your return home if you try to be consciously aware of how it felt to live elsewhere. At least, it is for me. (Or is it just that my HRT is working particularly well today???).
oh every single part of this just spoke to where I feel I am right now...
"Sometimes, I feel like I’m pissing it all away. But other times, I feel so grateful for this time and space, my stomach aches." I vacillate here wildly from one moment to the next.
I too want to take a leap and trust that life will catch me, but am afraid that this leap will make me unsuitable to exist at all in the world - in that indescribable way we know we must fit to some extent.
May you find your way, friend. I can't wait to read where you go.
How can we feign that we are away when we are here ?
Doing new things? Dumping as many stressors as posisble? I don’t know. Spitballing here!
So sweet to enjoy the simplest things fully. Feels like that’s exactly what Porto gives you.
Thank you! It definitely feels like my place. Or one of them. Hope you’re got special spots too!
Yes, for me it’s Ireland. 🥰 My hubby was born there, and it’s truly special to take our kids to visit family.
Loved it so much!!
Thank you, Alicia!
Totally relatable and specifically to Portugal. "Documenting a romanticized vacation bubble." Even if a bubble the truth is most of the rest of the world lives in community and life is on the streets, whether they want the connection or not. Such way of life is a novelty to us like a first bite of chocolate to a toddler. Our individual pursuits in the U.S. are lonely and disconnected, but thinking life is better overseas, without actually living it, is thinking an 8 hour single day roadtrip is easy.
Yes, I agree that we are too focused on individual pursuits, and this is in opposition to what makes us truly happy. A lot of other cultures do not focus on the individual like we do.
Love this! Now I feel like I need to go to Portugal...
You must! I love it more than average, BUT it is pure magic
I spent two weeks in Portugal in 1982 and it was heaven. We were in the Algarve and it was sunny, inexpensive and carefree, which felt so divine. There was a lot of building going on then so I can only imagine what is like now - so I will not try and recreate by going back. Everyone loves Portugal it seems! (Is this where you got sick from salmon quiche tho?)
I live in Lake Tahoe and am from the SF Bay Area and find the long dark winters harder as I get older up there. Winters are such a thing but I do think you have to embrace the hygge philosophy and deal with it but it can be hard.
Have you read Wintering? Great book! XX
Wow, I bet it was even more preserved and rustic then. Funny, because it still feels that way in Porto comparatively, but many would say it’s very gentrified (which it is also). Thank you for the thoughtful note, book recco and support! Much appreciated. The quiche was from Paris! Ha- this was our “tack on” destination.
I live in Las Vegas. It's been kind to me over the years but it's hot AF in the summer and Laguna Beach is my Portugal. It's an easy four hour drive and seriously, just entering the freeway on-ramp (the only time I ever use that particular exit) feels like I arrived at the no-burdens-allowed club.
On Substack I'm living vicariously through several ex-pats living in France. Some have been there for years, others only recently arrived. Have you and your husband considered moving to Portugal for a year? Yes, this could be a logistical challenge but I'm certain your move would liven up my Substack feed which should also (heavily) factor into your decision. Perhaps Iberian living will inspire your Toronto wine room.
Thanks for this post. Best thing I've read this week. Enjoy your time in Portugal. I wish you much blissful inspiration.
Michael! Such kind words. I’m a fan of Vegas and glad you have your respite driving distance away. I do love all of the expat content too, such a portal. We’ve talked about a temporary move but have crammed in too much stuff that needs our localized attention for the minute. 2027 abroad?
Schedule it. I'll keep an eye out for your Fall 2027 post when you find surprise Euros in your winter coat pocket.
This made me smile
"I wonder if we, specifically those of us who inhabit places with six months of winter, live too inwardly." So actually, not to be *that* person, but there is actually research backing this! People in colder countries tend to be colder, more reserved, and less friendly to people they don't know. I can't remember why it was, but it is a thing :)
I totally believe it! I think there are pluses as well. I've always theorized this is why there is a lot of great Canadian artists. We're forced to be with ourselves and not out boating year-round with wind in our hair!
Loved this! Thank you for sharing. Every time I have a little doubt about relocating, someone talks about Portugal to draw me back in 💕😂
I am glad to be that person this time! Maybe you'll do it for me next time I am debating!
Yes- I hope so! That’s what friends are for! 🤣
I don’t get out much but this resonated 100%. Something about leaving our “real lives” behind lets the mortgage and underwater cars not feel like necessities anymore. I supposed it really hit because I ask the same questions - is it possible to feel like this at home?
Thank you for this thoughtful comment! I am not sure, but it would be nice if we could.
Hang onto the centeredness of this piece. Lovely work.
Thank you!
Felt this in my bones, the love of a place! The freedom! The mystery rash! Off to convince my husband we need to go to Portugal now, bye!
Love when it makes it into the bones! Ha. Thank you. Do go and do report back!
Oh my gosh, this was awesome and the synchronicities! I am a Maritimer living in Barbados, and my 20 year corporate career ended less than 2 weeks ago. I am part of a yoga community that bridges Barbados, UK and annual European retreats and this August we are going to Portugal and just this morning my yoga teacher sent me her flight details into Porto. (You can find her on Substack - the Long Hold, or on IG Tory Miell Yoga). I am calling this a year of transition with the purpose of cultivating a gift. What does this mean to me? Exploring, trying different activities, taking some energy courses like Reiki and Sacred Geometry- just going day by day and taking it all in. I laughed when you compared Muskoka to Portugal because this year I’m actually doing both! I’ll keep you posted!
Lots of synchronicity here then! Love that. Thanks for sharing and do keep me posted.
I love this. I lived as an expat for 6 years and felt a similar lightness. There's something about being removed from your ordinary that results in the freedom you're writing about. It's hard to hold onto - but writing about it helps!
I was curious about the other side of making a move to a new place as an expat! Did you retain this lightness for the time you were away or does real life follow you?
Great question; I think it probably depends on the location. Obviously real life always follows you to a certain extent; life admin happens wherever you are, and I was the main carer for our two kids so that can definitely bring you down to earth with a bump wherever you are. But if your location and host culture are far enough removed from the day to day you left behind, then it’s certainly possible to retain the ‘living a life less ordinary’ vibe throughout your stay. And to be honest, it’s also possible to retain that on your return home if you try to be consciously aware of how it felt to live elsewhere. At least, it is for me. (Or is it just that my HRT is working particularly well today???).
HRT had me laugh out loud. Thank you for this. I totally get what you're saying, especially about retaining that feeling back at home.
I was hoping and waiting for reflections from your time in Portugal!!!! As always, this did not disappoint. 🔥
Thanks a mill and thanks for reading, Deborah!
oh every single part of this just spoke to where I feel I am right now...
"Sometimes, I feel like I’m pissing it all away. But other times, I feel so grateful for this time and space, my stomach aches." I vacillate here wildly from one moment to the next.
I too want to take a leap and trust that life will catch me, but am afraid that this leap will make me unsuitable to exist at all in the world - in that indescribable way we know we must fit to some extent.
May you find your way, friend. I can't wait to read where you go.