Respectfully, I object to photographs as evidence.
A mirror is bad enough, but at least it has the decency to happen once and then vanish unless you keep standing there making poor decisions. I once saw a candid photo of myself at a barbecue and briefly believed I had been replaced by a substitute gym teacher who had just lost custody based on a I'm With Stoopid t-shirt he wore the hearing.
I hope this helps, although I understand it does not help at all.
In all good faith, no matter how the photos look, the fact that you may be carrying Werther's in your purse makes you immediately 2.3 times more attractive than nearby women who carry only make-up and self-help books.
If it does age you into your 70s with or without photos. Is it too familiar if I start calling you Nana?
Good stuff here, so funny. Luckily (?) I’m unphotogenic (different than being ugly, but subjectively, there’s that, too) and since every SINGLE photo is a horror story, I’ve had no choice but to choose the very hot lady in my head. 😁😂💜
It is so frustrating - that women are not allowed to visibly age, while men are described as dignified, etc., when they do.
I have been overweight much of my adult life, so I avoided the camera like the plague. There are probably less than 100 pictures of me across almost 20 years.
I regret it now.
So, overweight, almost 58 now, I let my picture be taken. I even went totally crazy and I have a six-day-a-week live show here every (USA time zone) night. 🤦♀️
I too, find that infuriating. Plus, the audacious rollout of “Dad bod” while the pressure and expectation on women remains ludicrous. I relate to your avoiding the camera, and I also want to change that. Happy to hear you’re embracing beauty as it is.
This was so funny "As every photo indicates, you’ve secured Rexall’s 55+ senior discount. You’ve been carrying Werther’s in your purse. You’ve penned dozens of open letters to Mark Zuckerberg to keep your Facebook posts private!" 😆
I started a Youtube channel a few months back. Every single time I watch a video back while editing I'm thinking:
Where did that line come from?
That frown line's supposed to go away....when you're not frowning!
Well I personally looked at the photo and thought you looked beautiful, were funny like that aren’t we? Everyone else’s champion but our own. But this did make me laugh 😂
Camera lie. Fact, I don’t even listen to them anymore (beside the one very specific angle that makes me look decent haha)
This hilarious essay captures the universal horror of seeing a truly terrible photo of yourself. It perfectly mocks that shocking moment when a bad camera angle instantly makes you look decades older, proving that sometimes a brutal photo is the ultimate reality check.
Respectfully, I object to photographs as evidence.
A mirror is bad enough, but at least it has the decency to happen once and then vanish unless you keep standing there making poor decisions. I once saw a candid photo of myself at a barbecue and briefly believed I had been replaced by a substitute gym teacher who had just lost custody based on a I'm With Stoopid t-shirt he wore the hearing.
I hope this helps, although I understand it does not help at all.
--Darren D. Darren
I agree photos can be deceiving. But this was in fact, a series. Multiple photos. That said, optical illusions do exist.
In all good faith, no matter how the photos look, the fact that you may be carrying Werther's in your purse makes you immediately 2.3 times more attractive than nearby women who carry only make-up and self-help books.
If it does age you into your 70s with or without photos. Is it too familiar if I start calling you Nana?
--Darren D. Darren
This cracked me up cuz my 4 year-old regularly takes 50+ photos of me from the worst angles, I mean, he's only 3.5 feel tall :-).
Haha! This made me laugh...'he's only 3.5 feet tall'... that is indeed, a very unflattering vantage
Good stuff here, so funny. Luckily (?) I’m unphotogenic (different than being ugly, but subjectively, there’s that, too) and since every SINGLE photo is a horror story, I’ve had no choice but to choose the very hot lady in my head. 😁😂💜
Ah, Amy. We are kindred. I have very rarely seen a photo of me and been pleasantly surprised. Now, I just roll with it!
Ha ha! If it happens, it’s gonna be taken by me, alone in the bathroom in the middle of the afternoon for no good purpose.
*smile*
It is so frustrating - that women are not allowed to visibly age, while men are described as dignified, etc., when they do.
I have been overweight much of my adult life, so I avoided the camera like the plague. There are probably less than 100 pictures of me across almost 20 years.
I regret it now.
So, overweight, almost 58 now, I let my picture be taken. I even went totally crazy and I have a six-day-a-week live show here every (USA time zone) night. 🤦♀️
The next goal? Maybe printing a couple.
I too, find that infuriating. Plus, the audacious rollout of “Dad bod” while the pressure and expectation on women remains ludicrous. I relate to your avoiding the camera, and I also want to change that. Happy to hear you’re embracing beauty as it is.
Medically enviable made me laugh out loud. I get this. I am just not photogenic!
Haha! My nurse sister, did indeed say my veins were 'enviable' 😭
I could get an IV on those veins from across the room 😆
Marina! Spit out my drink.
What a great read, thank you 🙏🙂.
This was so funny "As every photo indicates, you’ve secured Rexall’s 55+ senior discount. You’ve been carrying Werther’s in your purse. You’ve penned dozens of open letters to Mark Zuckerberg to keep your Facebook posts private!" 😆
I started a Youtube channel a few months back. Every single time I watch a video back while editing I'm thinking:
Where did that line come from?
That frown line's supposed to go away....when you're not frowning!
You look just like Dad, in his 80's
😊
Ah, youth is so fleeting! Thank you for the kind comment + share. Happy you stumbled upon this (and sorry you can relate!).
Well I personally looked at the photo and thought you looked beautiful, were funny like that aren’t we? Everyone else’s champion but our own. But this did make me laugh 😂
Camera lie. Fact, I don’t even listen to them anymore (beside the one very specific angle that makes me look decent haha)
Jo! That’s so kind of you. We are our own toughest critic, but truly, I think these are objectively bad. 😂
No. Seriously. I’m not even being cute.. a woman’s smiling face is literally the most beautiful thing ever!
You are kind! And I tend to agree
🧡🧡
I know, I know. I just hope when I’m 70, I still look like a woman.
All signs point to yes!
too damn funny!
You're the best! Thanks for reading and sharing!
🙌
OMG- “You’ve become your great aunt” I’ve thought that before… saw a photo of myself and thought I look EXACTLY like my aunt- whom I loved, but WTaF.
Reading this made me almost feel human again, almost.
Thanks for the laugh. 😂😫
Hah, thank you for the kind comment. We are humans together...and probs just 'regular aunt' vibes!
This hilarious essay captures the universal horror of seeing a truly terrible photo of yourself. It perfectly mocks that shocking moment when a bad camera angle instantly makes you look decades older, proving that sometimes a brutal photo is the ultimate reality check.
This is the kindest review! Thank you for reading. Glad to share in this relatable horror
Too many intense years in tech does that to a lot of people--regardless of gender.
Ah, yes, tech hunch AND personality. Guilty.
I listened to this one instead of reading! So glad I did. You're voice on the Zuckberg line alone was priceless.
Darren! This made me smile. Thank you.
For the record, Grace. I don’t see anything ugly in that photo.
Brian, this is very kind of you but....now I am questioning your judgement!